San Francisco Oktoberfest 2021
Our mission is to ensure your Oktoberfest in San Francisco runs as smoothly as possible.
What we do
OAP dedicates our lives to elevating your Oktoberfest above and beyond. We sample beer, food, and festivities ahead of time and during the event to mitigate the damages of a poor Oktoberfest on your cities reputation. Below find some insights in how we go about improving your event’s integrity. EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE NO INTEGRITY BECAUSE WE DECIDED NOT TO PAY OUR OUTSOURCED DESIGNER FOR HIS WORK ON THIS STUPID WEBSITE.
OAP’s IDIOTIC Pretzel System
At OAP we designed and patented (really? patented? why?) our Pretzel System which our team members implement at each location. (Its not really a system.. its just a list)
The Pretzel System reminds us to focus on the key elements of what makes a successful Oktoberfest: Beer, Food, and Music. (You couldnt remember that without a stupid pretzel diagram? This company is ridiculous)
Fig 1. OAP’s Patented Pretzel Chart used to assess Oktoberfest venues
Meet the Team
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Jaya
AVID BJORK LISTENER.. SHE DOESNT REALLY TALK.. JUST WEIRD HIGH PITCHED GIGGLES / FOUNDER
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Emmett Marsh
SOCIALLY AWKWARD… LIKE HIDE BEHIND PLANTS AT A PARTY AWKWARD..THIS IS A PHOTO FROM THAT PARTY / RESEARCHER
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Eleanor Parks
SHE HAS A CROOKED NECK. SHE THINKS NO-ONE KNOWS… BUT WE DO / SUSTAINABILITY DIRECTOR
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Gus Sabastian Sausage
SAUSAGE BOY BIG MAN / INVESTIGATOR
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Alton Notla
HE SMELLS LIKE EARWAX.. NOT SURE WHAT EARWAX SMELLS LIKE.. IT PROBABLY SMELLS LIKE HIM… HE SMELLS GROSS. / SOCIAL MEDIA
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Jamie Kokot
HER DEAD MOTHER GAVE HER THIS CAMERA AND SHE DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO USE IT.. SHE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND TO TALK ABOUT HER DEAD MOM / DESIGNER
Contact us.
Reach out and let us know how we are doing, how we can improve, and if there are an Oktoberfests in your vicinity that should be observed OR dont.. We don’t respond to our outsourced web designer when he reaches out about payment so why would we bother to respond.